Closed-Caption Comebacks

Captions Log:
Stardate Monday, May 25th, 2020



"Don't make a habit of it."
As the nun said to the apprentice haberdasher who had just received her first skein of cloth.
"That company ain't nothing but a mailbox."
Well, a hero ain't nothing but a sandwich. What are you saying?
(from building show) "Then we get the next 50,000 pounds when we're plastered."
That's an interesting criterion for loan eligibility.
"And who is to say I didn't make the horses rear?"
Surely God made that.
Need subtitling, captioning, and CCSL scripts? Contact Brian Quass, at quass@quass.com.
"We're going to switch your kingdom's time zone to Greenwich Mean Time!"
Not on MY watch!
"I wonder where."
I just made you say "wonder where."
"I can't tell you how much danger he's in now."
You can tell me, I'm a doctor.
"I need a place to crash."
How about the New Jersey Turnpike?
Need subtitling, captioning, and CCSL scripts? Contact Brian Quass, at quass@quass.com.
"I see your last mission went off without a hitch."
"Well, we were getting tired of towing that dumpy trailer behind us anyway."
"This is my train, Mr. Ross, and this is my leg. BOTH are to continue as planned." (From "Omaha Trail")
Hopefully the man's arms are as gung-ho as his legs!
"An army of brain-dead animals is still an army."
Truer words were never spoken. (But I think the character stole those lines from Winston Churchill... or was it Disraeli?)
"She could do no wrong in my eyes."
That's why she'll always be my one-and-only optometrist.
Need subtitling, captioning, and CCSL scripts? Contact Brian Quass, at quass@quass.com.
"It was one of those lame things that we all looked down on and could happily have blown off."
What, you mean a dandelion?
"He's got my back no matter what."
...said the patient of the famous chiropractor.
"It's neck and neck!"
As the giraffes battle to reach the fruit at the top of the tree. (In fact, it's neck and neck and neck and neck.)
"Well, I guess that makes two of us."
...said the scientist while glancing at his colleague's new cloning gun.
Need subtitling, captioning, and CCSL scripts? Contact Brian Quass, at quass@quass.com.
"This too shall pass."
...said the timid teacher about the lousy essay that she was grading.
"I didn't know that you had it in you."
...said the doctor to the patient who swallowed the stethoscope.
"You know, I could tell you what an immortal in Spain had for lunch 300 years ago next Tuesday. But I can't find out who killed Lauren."
"Mind you, I can tell you what he ate just before doing so."